| Scott Gaffen -- Nilbert Futzman |
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| You can quit ogling now Nilbert |
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Nilbert Futzman is a detective on a mission -- to find out what the hey is going on in Joe Farmer's cow pasture. Nilbert is a bit cranky. Unfortunately he gets even crankier by surrounding himself with imbeciles to help him solve the case.
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| Nicole Cates -- Patty Pyerson |
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Errr, it could be that
chocolate on your lip Patty |
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Patty is a brilliant yet dingy scientist who has an unusual specialty (poopology -- the study of excrement) and some questionable hygiene habits. She's also gorgeous but talks so slowly you want to commit harey karey everytime she opens her mouth.
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| Eric Peterson -- Peter Panskey |
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Peter Panskey
founder of UFORKAME |
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Peter has his head up in the clouds (or maybe it's somewhere else) studying the mysteries of UFOs, orbs and other strangeness. He's the founder of U.F.O.R.K.A.M.E., a society of like geeks who study the same weird crap.
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| Bonny Downs -- Betty Flack |
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Gimme the coffee
hold the fatass please |
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Betty is a waiter's waiter. Yep, she can sling cups of coffee with the best of 'em and she don't take no flack off the customers. After all, she doesn't work for the tips. She works for the shear joy of making her customers as uncomfortable as possible.
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